This is a guest post by John Dulworth, Coach, Speaker & Facilitator. He is currently my Life Coach and the journey I am taking with him is already changing my life. He’s bright, caring, and an incredibly intuitive coach–and he’s fun!
For the purposes of this post, we’ll be thinking of play as:
* Anything spontaneously done for its own sake.
* Disconnected from time; a timeless state.
* Something that can be infused into any activity or can have specific time blocked off for.
* Something that pertains to a light hearted attitude or frame of mind rather than about an activity.
* An altered state.
* Being of curiosity and exploration.
Here are some of the powerful effects that play and an accompanying playful mindset can have on us.
Play,
* Connects us with possibility.
* Establishes trust between individuals.
* Helps us get ‘unstuck’ or shift problems.
* Empowers us.
* Is as important as sleep.
* Reduces stress.
* Cultivates creativity and innovation.
* Makes living more fun. Duh.
* Supports brain and heart function.
Did you know?
* Humans are biologically programmed to play our entire lives?
* The first play act often times is the laughing, happy gaze between a mother and her baby?
* Humans can suffer from play deprivation?
* Play that involves movement helps the learning process?
* The opposite of play is not work but depression? (Well, ok, not technically, but it’s a quote I heard recently and it got my attention).
What gets in the way of play:
* Beliefs. Yikes, folks, this was a biggie. Yes indeed as we’ve seen before that little narrative in our head and the beliefs we hold, dictate how we live. Where play is concerned, many of us have tightly held beliefs that we can’t or we shouldn’t or we couldn’t possibly – not until this is done or that is done or we become more of this and less of that. We don’t get to play until we finish our work. We don’t get to play because we have to be productive. Adults don’t play – play is for children. Life is serious. We can’t afford to … blah, blah, blah. You get the point. Boring, right?
* We have a limited definition of play (for an expansion on yours see above). We think of it as something to be earned and then scheduled but because we’re never done, we never earn it.
* Everything we do have to have a purpose attached to it so even if we are playing, we’ve turned it into something that is supposed to produce a result for us. Hmmm … feels a little less like play to me.
* We’re simply out of practice, we’ve lost our play mojo; we’ve acquiesced to the circumstances of our life letting them close us down to rather than open us up to our playful selves.
Tips to get you playing:
* Infuse play into your day. Remember, it’s all about your attitude not about your schedule. In fact, what if instead of calling work, ‘work’ you called it ‘play?’ (thank you Donna) Radical, I know. I can hear your inner Puritan calling b.s. but give it a shot. A simple change in your narrative can have a powerful impact.
* If you’re feeling out of practice, get a play mentor. I have a pal (Hi, Jane!) who asked her 12 year old son to be hers. If you have a dog, he or she might just be perfect. Or perhaps you need an ambassador of play; someone whose job it is to help you cultivate a light heart.
* Take frequent breaks (push backs) during your day. Get up and shake what your mama gave you as a way to break up the energy.
* Use music to lighten your mood. I play music while I am working. I love it. It always helps me to stay light.
* Smile your booty off. This one is huge. “Sometimes your joy can be the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy,” says Thich Nhat Hanh. Feeling stressed or upset or wobbly or depressed or anxious? Experiment with smiling. I recently realized that in intense exercise classes, I tended to smile really big especially when things got truly difficult. For me, it was a way to make it through the class without collapsing. I’ve had instructors comment on it. It got me thinking, what if I smiled anytime I was really stressed or confused? Guess what, it works. (There’s even science that supports it.)
* Do the funky chicken in front of the mirror first thing in the morning or do like my pal, Kelly, and when you catch your first morning reflection, make hilarious faces at yourself. Just remember that if part of your funny morning routine is to also give yourself crazy hairstyles that you brush them out before taking out the trash. Or not..
* When you’re out in the world, engage with people. Turn it into a game of connection; try not to let one single contact go by without a greeting or a smile or a ‘howdy.’ Talk about a funk buster! This gets you out of your drama and into the world where you belong.
* Start asking people what the funniest thing was that happened to them that day. Talk about a game changer at the dinner table.
* Keep a list of moments of hilarity.
* Reclaim Mondays. Monday gets such a bad rap and guess what, if we tell ourselves it’s gunna suck, then it’s gunna suck. Yippee! You’re right again.
* Set play dates with pals. No work conversation, no bitching allowed, just plain light hearted connection.
* Have a fun night with your hubby or wife.
* If you’re stuck in a pattern of fighting with someone, try setting up a new rule that when you fight you can only fight in your underwear or with sombreros on or while doing the Hokey Pokey. Using playfulness in tense moments can connect you to possibility and build trust. At a minimum, it’ll make it less painful!
Resources (click on links):
* The Monday night call: The Power of Play
* My blog post: Got Play?
* New York Times: Taking Play Seriously
* Dr. Stuart Brown’s book called, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul.
* Dr. Stuart Brown’s Talk on TED.com And don’t be fooled by Dr. Brown’s demeanor, I’ve had the opportunity to see him in other interviews and he’s a light hearted, hilarious guy.
Finally, I want to help! Feeling stuck or not sure how to get this party going?
Give me a shout. We’ll come up with your personalized play plan designed to crack you up, bust a move and have you laughing through everyday.
You can connect with John at his blog, www.johndulworth.com.
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