My mind was racing – again – as I thought of the thirty odd things I had to do; all of them seemingly critical to our success. As I talked on the phone to my friend Patty, I whined about how much work I’d had to do on getting her courses up and running on our online scheduling system; I whined to my other friend, Carol, the organizer extraordinaire, about a visit from an old friend that had created more unfinished work for me to do. In retrospect, It seems like I whined to every unfortunate soul I came in contact with today – ick!
As I listened to myself, I began to feel uncomfortable at how un-resourceful I sounded, how I sounded like a freaking victim — which I definitely am not! I stopped in my tracks and looked at what work I was doing and realized how much I had accomplished and that much of it I actually enjoyed; I could even say it was fun and challenging.
I had allowed an old habit of not being present to what was actually happening sidetrack me from noticing what I was doing in that very moment, moving from one task to the next intuitively and gracefully and enjoying myself.
As I let my ideas and old habits drop away, I became still and saw the absolute perfection in what I had chosen to do in that moment. Past moments dropped away, future tripping stopped and I took my dog, Max, for a walk — I simply let go and followed the flow of what was right in each moment, and it was perfect and effortless and fun.
The older I get, the better I get at seeing the unconscious moments and moving out from them. I really like aging!